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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690265">all we have is now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampulla/pseuds/ampulla'>ampulla</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, And a little bit of angst, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Post-November 20 Interrogation (Persona 5), goro thinks a lot, goro will refer to ren as his love but absolutely will not call him his boyfriend, just like. absolute tooth rotting fluff, no beta we die like men, they both have wings and its very cute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampulla/pseuds/ampulla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"i have to go," goro tells him. even as he remains curled up in ren's arms, his wings brushing up against the raven's own larger ones, mottled cream contrasting against dark black. "sakura-san is going to be over here any time, i have to leave before he gets here."</p>
<p>"but why?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all we have is now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was written as a gift to myself! i meant to upload this yesterday, because that was when my birthday was, but i didn't end up finishing it in time so i'm posting it today instead as a late birthday present!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>"i have to go," goro tells him, even as he remains curled up in ren's arms, his wings brushing up against the raven's own larger ones, mottled cream contrasting against dark black. "sakura-san is going to be over here any time, i have to leave before he gets here." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"but why?" is the whiny reply, ren's voice still thick with sleep. the wing surrounding them shuffles- only one, the other half folded, partially propped up against the wall and window. covered in bandages, it's hard to move, so it remains in place. they can still cuddle just fine, so neither mind too much. "it's so early... can't you just go out the window later?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i could," goro agrees, pressing a finger to the other boy's lips as he opens his mouth to interrupt with a reply. "i could, but my stuff is downstairs, and i need to get it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"aww... why is your stuff downstairs?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"if i recall, you were so eager to pull me upstairs to cuddle last night that you didn't even give me the time to put my stuff away."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>ren has the decency to look a bit sheepish, even if it's just for a moment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"oops, sorry." he replies, not sounding sorry at all. goro rolls his eyes, finally pulling away, and as he crawls off the bed ren follows.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"you don't have to come with," the brunet says, humming quietly when sweater-clad arms wrap around his waist and the raven rests his head on his shoulder, though careful not to press against goro's wings. "i'm just going to get my stuff."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"mmm... are you gonna come back up then?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>goro laughs softly at the sleepy boy, reaching to ruffle his hair a bit. oh, how soft he is for him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i think i will. it is rather early still, and i have some time before i have to be anywhere... so i suppose i can stay here for a bit longer."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>this seems to please ren, as he lets out a happy chirp and pulls away. goro watches him return to bed, then hurries down to get his stuff before ren gets too impatient. he knows that really, he shouldn't be doing this; he has work later, and there's always the chance that any of the phantom thieves or the dumb feline mythical they've partnered with or even sakura-san could come up at any moment and catch them unawares. goro wasn't even supposed to know ren was still alive, after all, so things were very much bound to go awry if they were found together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>his wings ruffle at the thought, lips turning down in a slight frown. for some reason, he finds himself worrying more about the phantom thieves finding out he knows ren is alive more than he fears shido finding out, despite the latter being oh so much worse than the former. perhaps it's because he knows, he's aware what would happen were shido find out about even this small betrayal. but the thieves, they're unpredictable. aside from ren, he's never really gotten to know any of them besides any prior connections, and he has no idea what they're really like, what makes them tick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>how they'd react to discovering that the person who attempted to assassinate their leader also slept in his bed with him the very next night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>but even though he shouldn't be staying, for fear of being found out or missing work, just the thought of ren, being held by him and encircled by his massive wings, convinces him enough. he loves him, despite everything, and as ren so desired his companionship he would stay.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>he's been standing around in the cafe for too long. he grabs his attache case and coat, folding the latter over the arm holding the case. those are the only two items he left down in the cafe, he's pretty sure, and a quick glance around serves to affirm this. so, back up to the attic he goes, setting the attache case and coat down on the couch before making a beeline for the bed, where ren was already waiting with arms reaching out towards him. he crawls into the waiting arms, and ren's wing, the one less injured, automatically wraps around the two of them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"you came back up," the raven says as he buries his head in goro's shoulder, arms wrapping around him and hands grasping at the back of his shirt. there was an underlying tone of fear, slight enough that goro barely caught it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i said i would, didn't i?" he murmurs, reaching to run a hand through ren's hair. "you're more important to me than work, and you asked for me to stay."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"you took so long, i thought..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>ren sounds so small, and it hurts goro to hear. he wants to hold on to ren and never let go, and his arm tightens around his waist in accordance. this is his fault, he knows that. it's his fault that ren is hurting so much, his fault that his love is suffering in the aftermath of the interrogation room, body bruised and wing broken. if he had just defected from shido, despite the risks, if only he had just abandoned his stupid revenge plan, abandoned his plans to betray the thieves, if only he had just followed his heart...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>ren follows his heart. his stupid, bleeding heart, he follows it and helps people. so selfless, so nice. goro can't help but compare himself to him, and every time he comes up short. ren is just so good, and he's just... not. he's inferior to him in every way- morality, motivations, appearance, even in their mythical blood- his wings are small, after all, inelegant and can barely lift his body off the ground for any significant amount of time. not like ren, who's wings are so, so big, so strong, so elegant and gorgeous and everything goro is not.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i can hear the gears turning," ren comments, and goro didn't even realize ren had moved, trying to look into his eyes, until the raven had spoken. as he meets his eyes, he continues. "what are you thinking about?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"it's nothing," he says, like a liar. he doesn't want to worry him, doesn't want him to know what kind of thoughts lurk in his mind. this isn't about him, they aren't here for him. he's here for ren, and thus his innermost self doubt is currently unimportant. at ren's probing, insistent gaze, he sighs, the hand in ren's hair moving to cup his face. "you needn't worry, it's unimportant."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i don't think it is." ren murmurs, nuzzling into goro's hand. the raven's grip on his shirt loosens, hands moving up, sliding into the holes in his shirt that his wings poke through. resting them on the patch of skin in between his wings. his fingers trace tiny circles against his skin, and the brunet automatically relaxes, wings fluttering. "tell me. talk to me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i don't..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"goro."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>he sighs. ren cares far too much, he shouldn't be bothered with how goro is feeling. and yet... he still asks. and so...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"i'm sorry." he says finally. "i'm so, so sorry... this is all my fault. if i hadn't stuck to my stupid plan, if i hadn't continued to listen to shido, if i hadn't betrayed you..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"goro..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"don't." he says, voice firm, causing the fingers drawing circles against his spine to still. he adores his love, but he knows his bleeding heart wants to comfort him and tell him it's not his fault, that he had no choice. things he told him last night. and he doesn't want to hear any of that, not now. "just... listen. just listen."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>the raven nods, and as goro tries to pick up his prior train of thought his hands resume movement. fingers moving, lightly tracing his fingers along his wings. the touch makes him shiver, letting out a sharp exhale and narrowing his eyes at his lover. ren knows his wings are especially sensitive, smarmy asshole.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"stop it, i'm trying to be serious." he tells him, even despite the little smile he can't stop from tugging at his lips. he's so good at lightening the mood, not in an annoying way, but... he gets things from becoming too solemn, he's able to keep goro from getting lost in his own thoughts.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>like he is now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"just let me talk." he says, and ren acquiesces without argument. a small mercy, for if ren continued to talk goro knew he'd never get back on track.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>a deep breath.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"ren, i... you shouldn't forgive me. you shouldn't." he repeats when the raven opens his mouth to presumably protest, bringing a finger to his lips to shush him. "i don't deserve it, not after everything i've done. not after what i've done to countless people, to your dear friends... to you. i'm not a good person, ren, and i've done horrible things, and i certainly don't deserve you or your forgiveness. and yet... you're still here. you forgave me for actively trying to kill you, and, and..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>he sighs, pulling his hand away from ren's face and leaning against him, burying his face against his chest. it's so comforting, being held like this.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"it's pathetic... i came over because you asked, because you wanted comfort, you wanted somebody else with you... and yet, i'm the one being comforted..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"goro... it's okay to be vulnerable, to need comfort... i'm not the only one here who matters, you know. you're important too, and this has taken it's toll on you too, hasn't it? following orders, dealing with shido... you never had a choice in any of that, right? that's why... that's why i can forgive you. even if you think you don't deserve it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>the brunet sighs, closing his eyes and just inhaling the comforting scent of the raven's shirt. he still doesn't understand why ren is so nice, so sweet towards him, even despite what he says, but...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>but. maybe he doesn't have to understand. maybe, even just for a little bit, he can just... accept it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"thank you. for listening." he says after some time, voice soft. there's a gentle laugh from ren, one he can feel with his head against his chest, a slight rumbling sensation that goro finds he loves so much. he loves everything about ren, honestly, but there are certain things he just appreciates so much more- his little laughs, the way he knows how to give the best massages to make even his wings relax so completely, the way ren looks at him when he beats him in a game of chess, or billards... the tone in his voice when he looks down at goro, even without looking he knows ren is looking at him, and says,</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"thank you for telling me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>and goro simply adores when, right after, he yawns, and the way his wings shudder in a sort of stretch. it's cute, the way his entire body reacts to the simplest things, like a simple yawn. it's different than him, his wings don't react to the small things like that... just another way they're really just for show more than anything. they're useless.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"it's still early... we should go back to sleep." ren says, and the brunet can't help but agree. it is early, and the idea of just going back to sleep is entirely too tempting. possibility of his presence being discovered or being late to work be damned, he just... wants to sleep in ren's arms, the both of them hidden from the rest of the world by the raven's wings.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"that sounds like a lovely idea."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>they end up cuddling, legs tangled, with ren being the big spoon, a wing draped over goro and his face buried in between the brunet's own wings. the area is bare now, goro having removed the rest of his school uniform for the sake of comfort over anything else. (ren had offered him some spare pajamas, but he was more comfortable without, if he could manage.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"good night," ren mumbles into his back, to the amusement of the brunet. he says that so frequently, when he goes to sleep, no matter the time... it's endearing, and all too amusing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"good morning, you mean," he can't help but point out nonetheless. ren pokes him in the side.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"shut up."</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!!! please leave comments for me to feast upon when i retreat back into my writing hiatus once more to work on my two ongoing projects. and kudos i guess but i would appreciate comments very much. ty!! also feel free to check me out on twt @KURUSUMIYAS!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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